From Scott mackinnon on 06/03/99 02:13:20 PM To: marie_dunn@hstn.pgs.com, hinnant@maurice.dowell.slb.com, justintx@hotmail.com, taaffam@juno.com, Peck@DCNET2000.com, Gary Obrien/C/Africa/Mobil-Notes cc: Subject: Fwd: Why Americans should never be allowed to travel > >>"Why Americans Should Never Be Allowed To Travel." >>Part I >> > >The following are actual stories provided by travel agents: >> > >I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair > >wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. >> > >I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. > >I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport > >information then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to > >make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." > >Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly > >explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in > >Africa." Her response ... click. >> > >A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I > >asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He > >said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to > >explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle > >of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the > >map, and Florida is a very thin state." >> > >I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see > >England from Canada?" I said, "No." He said, "But they > >look so close on the map." >> > >Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in > >Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had > >a 1-hour lay-over in Dallas. When I asked him why he > >wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big > >airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save > >time." >> > >A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was > >possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and > >got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that > >Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could > >not understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I > >told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that! >> > >A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your > >physical description on your bag so they know who's > >luggage belongs to who?" I said,"No, why do you ask?" > >She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, > >they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm > >overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her > >on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" ( I was actually > >laughing) I came back and explained the city code for > >Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a > >destination tag on her luggage. >> > > >"Why Americans Should Never Be Allowed To Travel." > >Part II >> > >A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. > >After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it > >be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train > >to Hawaii?" >> > >I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do > >I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly > >he meant, which he replied, "I was told my flight number > >is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on > >them." > > > >A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola > >on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant > >to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, > >"Yeah, whatever." >> > >A business man called and had a question about the > >documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a > >lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him > >he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China > >many times and never had to have one of those." I > >double checked and sure enough, his stay required a > >visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to > >China four times and every time they have accepted > >my American Express." >> > >A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go > >from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York" The agent > >was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: "Are you > >sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights > >do you have?" replied the customer. After some > >searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, > >ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the > >country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." > >The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone > >knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent > >scoured a map of the state of New York and finally > >offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's > >it! I knew it was a big animal!"