From Scott mackinnon on 04/09/99 01:08:09 PM To: marie_dunn@hstn.pgs.com, Gary Obrien/C/Africa/Mobil-Notes, hinnant@maurice.dowell.slb.com, justintx@hotmail.com, taaffam@juno.com, minney@houston.geco-prakla.slb.com cc: Subject: Fwd: A bad day at the office >Date: Thu, 08 Apr 1999 18:43:30 -0700 (PDT) >From: Robert Hetrick >Subject: A bad day at the office >To: bobby hetrick >Cc: Marina Sosa , Lynn Strype , > Doug Swede , mike Thomas , > sylvia Thomas , Deborah Uyselt , > lynn wilson , Diane Wood , > e Miller , Vern Oakes , > Elise Reichback , Ellen Richardson , > Veronica Smith , > Susan Herrington , > A Hetrick , Larry Karisny , > Ellie Keller , Laurel laurel , > Jackie Lyons , Kelly M , > Scott MacKinnon , > shelley Ahtila , John Burns , > c d , L DeLaney , > david doering , J Fetter , > Tony Geiser , John Harvey > >Brian is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers of Louisiana >and performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an >email he sent to his sister. Excuse the language. Anytime you think >you >have had a bad day at the office, remember this true story... >============== >April, 1998 > >Hi Sue, >Just another note from your bottom dwelling brother. Last week I had a >bad day at the office. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I >first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know >my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. >It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we >do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water >heater. > >This $20,000 piece of shit sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it >to a delightful temp. It then pumps it down to the diver through a >garden hose which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a damn >good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I >do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is I take the hose and >stuff it down the back of my neck. This floods my whole suit with warm >water. It's like working in a jacuzzi. > >Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my ass started to >itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. >Within >a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my >back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. >The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my >suit. This is even worse than the poison ivy you once had under a cast. > >Now I had that hose down my back. I don't have any hair on my back, so >the jellyfish couldn't get stuck to my back. My ass crack was not as >fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually >grinding the jellyfish into my ass. > >I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the comms. His >instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5 other >divers were laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. >I was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops >totaling 35 minutes before I could come to the surface for my chamber >dry decompression. > >I got to the surface wearing nothing but my brass helmet. My suit and >gear were tied to the bell. When I got on board, the medic, with tears >of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told >me to shove it up my ass when I get in the chamber. The cream put the >fire out, but I couldn't shit for two days because my asshole was >swollen shut. I later found out that this could easily have been >prevented if the suction hose was placed on the leeward side of the >ship. > >Anyway, the next time you have a bad day at the office, think of me. >Think about how much worse your day would be if you were to shove a >jellyfish up your ass. I hope you have no bad days at the office. But, >if you do, I hope this will make it more tolerable. > >Your Brother, >Brian >