From scott@houston.Geco-Prakla.slb.com Tue Mar 18 15:39 GMT 1997 Received: from monet.mobil.com by laghp001.lag.mobil.com with ESMTP (1.37.109.16/16.2) id AA218613075; Tue, 18 Mar 1997 15:37:55 -0100 Return-Path: Received: from gallows.mobil.com (gallows.mobil.com [131.126.220.5]) by monet.mobil.com (Mobil-3/monet-3) with ESMTP id IAA19891 for ; Tue, 18 Mar 1997 08:16:10 -0600 Received: by gallows.mobil.com; id IAA19292; Tue, 18 Mar 1997 08:22:53 -0600 (CST) Received: from mailman.houston.geco-prakla.slb.com(163.185.13.199) by gallows.mobil.com via smap (3.2) id xma019276; Tue, 18 Mar 97 08:22:28 -0600 Received: from sgppc48 ([163.185.13.215]) by houston.Geco-Prakla.slb.com (4.1/WANG-4.1) id AA26797; Tue, 18 Mar 97 08:15:04 CST Date: Tue, 18 Mar 97 08:15:04 CST Message-Id: <9703181415.AA26797@houston.Geco-Prakla.slb.com> X-Sender: scott@mailman.houston.Geco-Prakla.slb.com X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Pro Version 2.1.2 Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" To: gxobrien@laghp001.lag.mobil.com From: Scott MacKinnon Subject: (Fwd) (Fwd) A Letter from Barbie Status: R >Return-Path: >Date: Tue, 18 Mar 97 07:53:06 cst >From: marie@hstn.expl.pgs.com >Encoding: 74 Text >To: dbrath@profsvcs.tmh.tmc.edu, james_m_kiely@cngp.cng.com, > jmich1@BestBuy.com, mbognar@digicon-hou.com, ndir@msg.ti.com, > robert.lord@pcsmail.pcshs.com, scott@houston.Geco-Prakla.slb.com, > tlittl1@entergy.com >Subject: (Fwd) (Fwd) A Letter from Barbie > > > > > > ************************* > A Letter From Barbie > ************************* > Chief Executive Officer > Mattel, Inc. > El Segundo, CA > > Dear Sir, > > Listen you little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing > at being the perfect Christmas present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in > frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, > and I hate to break it to ya, but IT'S DEFINITELY PAYBACK TIME! There > had better be some changes around here this year, or I'm gonna call for > a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you won't wanna be around to smell > it). > > So, here's my 1997 resolution/wish list: > > 1. A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized > sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker. How much smaller are > these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels > like to have nylon and velcro crawling up your butt? > > 2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably > white. What bonehead at Mattel decided to cheap out and MOLD imitation > underwear to my skin?!? It looks like cellulite! > > 3. A REAL man...maybe GI Joe. Hell, I'd take Tickle-Me Elmo over > that wimped-out excuse for a boyfriend, Ken. And what's with that > earring anyway? If I'm gonna have to suffer with him, at least make > him (and me) anatomically correct. > > 4. Arms that actually bend so I can push the aforementioned Ken-wimp > away once he is anatomically correct. > > 5. Breast reduction surgery. I don't care whose arm you have to > twist, just get it done. > > 6. A sports bra. To wear until I get the surgery. > > 7. A new career. Pet doctor and school teacher just don't cut it. > How about a systems analyst? Or better yet, an advertising account > exec! > > 8. A new, more 90s persona. Maybe "PMS Barbie", complete with a > miniature container of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and a bag > of chips; "Animal Rights Barbie", with my very own paint gun, > outfitted with a fake fur coat and handcuffs; or "Stop Smoking > Barbie", sporting a removable Nicotrol patch and equipped with several > packs of gum. > > 9. No more McDonald's endorsements. The grease is wrecking my vinyl. > > 10. Mattel stock options. It's been 37 years--I think I deserve it. > > Ok, Mr CEO, that's it. Considering my valuable contribution to > society, I don't think these requests are out of line. If you > disagree, then you can find yourself a new bimbo doll for next > Christmas. It's that simple. > > Yours truly, > > Barbie > Dreamhouse > Malibu, CA > > > Found in the Gazette. > > > > ---- Scott MacKinnon Geco-Prakla NSA scott@houston.Geco-Prakla.slb.com Houston, Tx. USA GHDS01::SCOTT Ph. 713-596-1558 Fax 713-596-1550