From jenny@hstn.tensor.pgs.com Thu Nov 7 13:51:42 1996 Return-Path: Received: from hap.hstn.tensor.pgs.com by houston.Geco-Prakla.slb.com (4.1/WANG-4.1) id AA28982; Thu, 7 Nov 96 13:49:53 CST Received: from ccmailsmtp.hstn.tensor.pgs.com (ccmailsmtp.hstn.tensor.pgs.com [157.147.31.201]) by hap.hstn.tensor.pgs.com (8.7.1/8.7.1) with SMTP id NAA14044 for ; Thu, 7 Nov 1996 13:44:31 -0600 (CST) Received: from cc:Mail by ccmailsmtp.hstn.tensor.pgs.com id AA847407032; Thu, 07 Nov 96 13:39:01 EST Date: Thu, 07 Nov 96 13:39:01 EST From: jenny@hstn.tensor.pgs.com Message-Id: <9610078474.AA847407032@ccmailsmtp.hstn.tensor.pgs.com> To: nancys@hstn.tensor.pgs.com, kristen@hstn.tensor.pgs.com, obrien@houston.Geco-Prakla.slb.com Return-Receipt-To: jenny@hstn.tensor.pgs.com Subject: HUM: Bipartisan Election Day Humor Status: R >Two of the political bumper stickers now being sold on the Pentagon >concourse: > >VOTE DEMOCRAT -- IT'S EASIER THAN WORKING !!! > >VOTE REPUBLICAN -- IT'S EASIER THAN THINKING !!! > >========== > >How To Tell Republicans From Democrats: > >Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere. >Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group. > >Democrats give their worn out clothes to those less fortunate. >Republicans wear theirs. > >Democrats name their children after currently popular sports figures, >politicians, and entertainers. > >Republican children are named after their parents or grandparents, >according to where the money is. > >Republicans tend to keep their shades drawn, although there is seldom >any reason why they should. >Democrats ought to, but don't. > >Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican >girls, but feel that they're entitled to a little fun first. > >Democrats make plans and then do something else. >Republicans follow the plans their grandfathers made. > >Republicans sleep in twin beds--some even in separate rooms. >That is why there are more Democrats. > >========== > >Politics: It all really just boils down to this: > >Issue: > >Criminals: >Democrats: Give them a second chance. >Republicans: Give them the swift sword of death. > >The poor: >Democrats: Give them some food. >Republicans: Give them the swift sword of death. > >Endangered species: >Democrats: Give them protection. >Republicans: Give them the swift sword of death. > >Dictators: >Democrats: Give them a way out. >Republicans: Give them the swift sword of death. > >The uninsured: >Democrats: Give them health care. >Republicans: Give them the swift sword of death. > >*The cost: >Democrats: $9,000,000,000,000,000,000 >Republicans: $29.95 (cost of one sword)